The bedroom of a man's bungalow. WALTER is under the covers, fast asleep.

Suddenly a half-dozen POLICE break down the door and stomp in. Walter is jerked from his slumber and he holds his hands up in shock as the cops surround him, pointing double-barrel shotguns at him at point-blank range.

                      POLICEMAN
          Sir? Hello?

                      WALTER
          Hi.

                      POLICEMAN
          Good morning Sir. We're just
          here this morning because
          we're holding a Police Expo
          this Saturday and we wanted
          to know if we could count on
          your support.

                      WALTER
          Uh...

                      POLICEMAN
          There's going to be a raffle
          and a silent auction and some
          really very nice prizes.

                      WALTER
          Um...can't make it Saturday.
          I have to work. Sorry.

                      POLICEMAN
          All righty, well, thank you
          anyway sir.

The POLICEMAN makes a signal to the others and they all march out. The phone rings. WALTER picks up.

                      WALTER
          Hello?

                      RODNEY
               (voice-over)
          Walter? It's Rodney!

                      WALTER
          Hey Rodney.

                      RODNEY
               (voice-over)
          Did the police just come and
          break down your door?

                      WALTER
          Yeah.

                      RODNEY
               (voice-over)
          (tsk) Oh, man! So we're BOTH
          on their list.

                      WALTER
          How did they get my address?

                      RODNEY
               (voice-over)
          Did you sign your name to a
          seemingly innocuous "Don't
          Invade My Home" list on the
          internet?

                      WALTER
          Why, yes!

                      RODNEY
               (voice-over)
          Oh, dude! Read the fine
          print! It was a scam! Look,
          you gotta fix your door.

                      WALTER
               (looking for the clock)
          What time is it...?

                      RODNEY
               (voice-over)
          Quick, before another one
          gets in!

                      WALTER
               (distracted)
          What now?

                      AT&T SALESMAN
               (appearing from around the corner)
          Sir? Good morning! The door
          was open. I'm from your cable
          provider. You know it's never
          been cheaper to get DSL.

                      WALTER
          GET OUT!
               (to Rodney)
          Rodney, I'll call you back.

                      AT&T SALESMAN
               (brandishing a circular saw)
          Only $50 a month with our
          mail-in rebate. We can
          install it now if you like.
          Only takes ten minutes. Is
          that drywall?

                      WALTER
               (chasing him out)
          Out! Shoo! Get out of my
          home!

Cut to a NARRATOR in front of a generic background.

                      NARRATOR
          But it was too late. Before
          Walter knew what had
          happened, he had already
          agreed to three months of DSL
          with free online technical
          support and a complete
          installation kit for only
          $19.95. Later, during a
          second home invasion, Walter
          was convinced to switch to
          Adelphia, and finally a
          salesman came to confirm his
          reservation on a weekend
          Hawaiian cruise while prying
          the screen off his patio
          door. And all because Walter
          signed a seemingly innocuous
          "Don't Invade My Home" list
          on the internet. Don't let
          this happen to you. DON'T
          sign "Don't Invade My Home"
          lists.

TITLE CARD: www.dontinvademyhome.com

                      ANOTHER ANNOUNCER
          Brought to you by the Don't
          Invade My Home Foundation.
          Keeping unwanted
          telemarketers out of American
          homes since 1995. Visit us on
          the web at
          www.dontinvademyhome.com

END.