A MAN dumps oil from a pan onto the ground. In
      the background birds peck at a worm.

                            HARRY HOUDINI
                This is not ergonomically
                correct.

2     EXT. A TUNISIAN HUT - DAY

      The sun shines from directly overhead on a
      nondescript hut in the middle of a desert
      valley. CHILDREN play tag in the background.

                            MIROSLAV VITOUS
                For a definition of the word
                "ergonomical", please consult
                your manual.

3     INT. BODLEIAN LIBRARY - DAY

      A LIBRARIAN tears the corner off a single page
      of "Harlot's Ghost", laughing quietly.

                            GRACE KELLY
                To consult your manual,
                consult your second manual,
                looking first under the topic
                of "how to read".

4     INT. A HOLLOWED-OUT LOG IN CENTRAL ASIA - NIGHT

      Clouds block the moon.

                            NELSON MANDELA
                For tips on learning to
                read...

5     INT. JAPAN - TUESDAY

                            HO CHI MINH
                ...consult your personal
                deoxyribonucleic acid
                sequence.

6     KNOTT'S BERRY FARM

      PROFESSIONAL GOLFERS cry uncontrollably.

                            WINNIE-THE-POOH
                For instructions on how to
                operate a scanning-tunneling
                electron microscope in order
                to read your own
                deoxyribonucleic acid
                sequence...

7     TEXAS - DAY

                            POL POT
                ...consult your manual.

8     NEXT DOOR TO THIS MOVIE - NIGHT

      GEORGE S. KAUFMAN, MARY ASTOR and LOUELLA
      PARSONS in a New York apartment. George types
      furiously and avoids looking either at Louella
      or Mary. Fat, jowly Louella sips a ginger ale
      and refuses to leave. She giggles quietly. Mary
      seethes and tries not to think about George's
      penis.

                            NARRATOR
                This is only a test. Schlis
                is nonly shniblest. Begin
                now. Laugh now. Ha! Ha!
                Ready? Go. The honor of our
                forefathers is not well
                equipped to laugh and ready
                steady go Josephine
                Bakersfield dancing in the
                mix is regal in spite of
                offhand remarks about Tolula
                Mankhead. I'll follow you
                anywhere. Cut it off just for
                spite. Which way? This way?
                Ah-Ha! Badalump badalump
                badalump bump bump, repeat.

      BLACKOUT.