Get a temp reception job at Disney. Once you’ve settled in, find the kitchen nearest you. Later, when everyone’s at lunch, take ten styrofoam cups and fill them with hot water from the Instant Hot spigot on the water cooler. Then take the cups home. (NOTE: This trick only works if the water stays HOT.)

Get temporary work at Warner Telepictures. Then when you’re in the bathroom, wait in a stall and when you’re sure you’re alone jump up and down until you get caught.

While temping at HBO, call the person in charge of office supplies and say in a high voice, “Hi, this is mumble rumble from James Gandolfini’s office. We need six number eleven allen wrenches and a dozen winched grommets ASAP. I’ll fax you the forms.” Then call back in twenty minutes and say in a deep growl, “This is James Gandolfini – where the hell are my grommets?”

Pretend you’re making a delivery to Jerry Bruckheimer Films. When no one’s looking, remove the massive abstract painting on the wall and replace it with six dozen knitted tablecloths.